The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize