therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All the doctor said was why
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
