My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
