Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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