Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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