Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
