I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize