he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
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the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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