There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
