Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize