Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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