we made out on top of his cat.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize