I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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