Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
