i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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