I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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