I need help removing her.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
