i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
