I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
