Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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