OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize