he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
