Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
