WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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