Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
