His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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