Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
