I just cut my nipple shaving
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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