This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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