I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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