I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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