i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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