We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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