Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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