I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just cut my nipple shaving
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
