we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
