then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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