i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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