How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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