im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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