dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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