that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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