Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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