Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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