CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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