I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize