why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Who wears a wallet chain?!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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