At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
