Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
