sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
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How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
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I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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