Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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