So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
