Cold hands, warm shart.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
