Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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